Week One: Naked Dinner — This is our basic, entry-level event, a dinner where everyone brings something to eat or smoke, and then hangs around naked. Bring a dish, a drink or some edibles and mingle with the crowd in this easygoing safe space. Get a look at everyone without their clothes on, and evaluate the goods. Once a year, take part in the Miss Areola pageant, where we vote on who has the sexiest nipples in the community.
Week Two: Dine at the Y — This is a vagitarian ladies’ only event, a potluck dinner beginning with a sumptuous cunnilingus buffet. Participants will take turns dining and being dined on. Multiple orgasms are guaranteed for all! Unlike at the dinner table, slurping is considered polite. Music will be provided by The Integrity Sisters! After about three hours of this, everyone will be in the mood for a fantastic dinner, which since nobody will feel like cooking, we will have at the really great Sushi place in Rosendale. After that, the "pot luck" can continue.
Week Three: Vicious Gossip Night — This a talk-only party where you seek to destroy your neighbors by making up nasty things about them, panicking and convincing other people that they’re true. It’s designed to let go of your Jungian shadow material, and project your anxieties and wounding all over the place in an uninhibited atmosphere. Local newspaper reporters will attend this event, and publish your frightening, nasty comments about others for the whole community to read! Stream video, live tweet or blog till your fingers fall off. It’s all “on the record”!
Week Four: Self-Flagelation — Bring your favorite whip or other pain-inflicting toy, and beat the snot out of yourself in the company of others. In the spirit of ancient Catholic monks, we will inflict serious harm on ourselves, and then enjoy a delicious, locally sourced, organic, vegetarian dinner over which fireplace ashes are sprinkled so that nobody enjoys it much. Take part in this cathartic event! You will feel much better about yourself.
Week Five: Fellatio Extravaganza — This is a men-only experience, where a few daring participants can finally get it out of their system — or really go for it. All taboos are lost in this healing, nourishing community experience, where men can work it out on one another for a change. One woman will be present, as a “hat check girl” to hold your heterosexuality safe for the evening; then she will give it back to you when you leave. Festivities will be followed by a pot luck dinner consisting of beer, Doritos and cheap cigars.
Week Six: Communal Masturbation — Co-ed masturbation pot lucks have become a national trend, which began in St. Louis of all places. We’ve been a little late getting involved, but these dinners are here to stay. We will start by stripping down (in the spirit of Naked Dinner) and begin our meal with some locally-sourced edible cannabis products, and then an open reading from people’s personal masturbation diaries. After about 15 minutes, everyone will be steamy, slippery and in the mood to participate. You’ve always wanted to show everyone your beautiful face as you orgasm. This is your big chance. Don’t miss the genital show and tell at 10 pm! Bring your favorite mirror or True Mirror!
Week Seven: Come On and Pickup Night — This is the perfect potluck where anyone can come onto anyone else, pick them up, make dates for the future, and have a free and funky time. Practice your skills! Exchange phone numbers and emails, ask out unavailable people, and have a moment where you can violate all social boundaries. Then we will settle in for some quinoa casserole, vegan rolls, veggie loaf and shots of wheatgrass.
Week Eight: Truth or Dare —Always a favorite, we will break up into small groups for an intimate feeling and play the classic childhood game. At this event, you can ask anyone anything, or dare anyone to do anything! Out your friends, or get them to do the thing they fear the most. This is a rare kind of bonding experience, where you compel people to say things they don’t want to say, and do things they don’t want to do.
Week Nine: Co-ed Oral Night — Just about everyone loves Week Nine! It’s co-ed oral night. Cunnilingus, kissing, blowjobs, ass licking and otherwise going nuts with your oral fixation are all good to go at the Co-Ed Oral party. Female ejaculators welcome. Bring newcomers! Bring old timers! Bring hotties! Bring a towel! This is a night of all-head, all the time, anything goes!
Week Ten: Shaming Party — Get out your ya-yas and tell your friends what disgusting little shits they are. Subject yourself to vicious shaming and indulge in a rare, delightful experience of being demeaned and belittled in front of people you dearly want to respect you. Be vulnerable and revel your innermost secrets, and then open yourself up to everyone using them against you. Each time we have this event, there will be one “special victim” who will have to strip naked and have all their deepest secrets revealed. You will leave a better, more confident person.
Week Eleven: Main Course is Intercourse — Join us for a night of full-on cisgendered heterosexual fucking, the most taboo form of sex in America. Men and women will treat one another like men and women in this down to earth event. Fuck on the floor, the couch, the table, in the bathroom or in the bedrooms — anywhere but in the closet! Gender queer people are invited to attend, but only so they can watch.
Week Twelve: Surprise Night! — This is the pot luck of erotic pot lucks. In the past, we’ve held lactation dairy night, gang bangs, CFNM FemDom nights, Sybian ride night, mommy/daddy play, sissy boi play, cross-dressing parties and toilet slave evenings. Soon we will host “Get Yourself Preggers” night (first come, first served on the baby batter; supplies are limited). Nobody knows what will be served till they get there. Bring your moxie and your derring-do!